The cocoon I knitted myself…

I’m in what someone told me is the hell of toddler years and preschool. I disagreed at the time. However, due to recent changes in Bob’s behavior and changes in a plan I was sure was going to work. I may have to agree with them. It’s not so much hell, as it is turmoil.

I have knitted what I considered the perfect plan for my child. It was as safe and comforting as my arms or the womb that I carried him in for 10 months. (Yes, pregnancy is not 9’s 40 the math). But it was flawed, my plan.

I wanted my son to go to NT preschool like other children. Why not? It’s age appropriate. Whatever that means. He knows his abc ‘s and numbers, colors, etc. Social skills we are lacking. I’m not aware of it. Because I have wrapped my son in the cocoon of his life. His life consists of one on one therapy..and moreover one on one family life. We revolve around him. He thrives on it!

I thrusted him out of his cocoon and into the real world of preschool. It worked for a while and then it didn’t. So, I pulled him back into the cocoon. Where he is safe, loved and accepted.

Right or wrong..I did it. We are back at square one with therapy and his life as he knows it. Even though, he still asks for the kids..aka his preschool classmates…which literally breaks my heart. Because, he still needs to be in the cocoon. My chrysalis is not ready to fly yet. But he will day. One day he will unwrap his own cocoon and places I can’t imagine.

One day Bob…I promise….

Hugs and love,
Aka Bob’s mommy



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