We got away….why did I do that?

A getaway with your spouse…how fast can your car get out of the drive way?
Smile, you know you feel this, me too. My question is why?

We survived Thanksgiving. Don’t get me wrong. It was perfect! Both sets of parents the SIL her boyfriend and the family unit is complete. Bob had no meltdowns and even ate dinner with us in the dining room. You know that place, the one no one uses with exception of twice a year when you pull out your good china etc. Anyways, the day was magnificent! It ended with Bob looking down the long table and announcing, “This is my family!”

Fast forward to Friday…. We and I say we, I mean the hubs and myself, are heading out for the weekend. Psalms children, they will be with their nanny, aka my momma…thank you Jesus! We burned rubber getting out of the driveway. Woohoo..bring on the childless weekend. We were going to be wild, reckless and free. And by this I mean, we are going to take naps.

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Well, we took one nap and then commenced to the next part of being childless…drinking….sitting at the hotel bar and drinking margaritas seemed indulgent and needed. It was fun! We talked to other adults and each other. All without chasing children or discussing where our teenager was or what was going on with Bob’s therapies. The escape…it was nice..it was good…it was needed.

Most of the time thoughts of my children nagged me, was Bob ok..would MC come home on her curfew..where they having fun..and did they miss me as much as I missed them.

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I face timed them several times. Each time the hubs would say, try and get away. My mom would say, they are fine ..have fun.
The truth of the matter is even when I do physically leave them…in my heart and mind..I am always there. I have some friends who can let go and have fun and not check on their children 100 times. I am not one of them. Those two, those bebes I birthed are like delicate strands attached to my heart that have the strength of steel.

We did have fun. I did have a taste of what it used to feel like to be free…childless…

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We came home and the kids were all in one piece and happy to see us. And as I hugged each of them and Bob sat on my lap and straddled me in a death grip saying, my mommy, you home. I wondered. Why did I ever have to get away? Why did I need it? It took coming home to realize it. But everything I need is right here…
Love and hugs,
Lori
Bob and MC’s mommy

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